So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
