You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
