waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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