Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
