Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish I only lived at night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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