So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Randomize
