how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
