I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
