why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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