Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
