Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
