do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
