I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
