Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
