How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
