ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
