and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
