2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
