i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
