1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
