call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
