Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
