I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
