okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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