My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
