Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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(660): View more from Missouri

Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

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(631): View more from New York

we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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(443): View more from Maryland

His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake

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(619): View more from California

Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

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(352): View more from Florida

To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.

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(+49): View more from Germany

So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly

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