WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
