this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
