I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
