i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
