tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He shit in the fireplace
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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