we're chasing vodka with high fives
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
