Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
