Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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