oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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