i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
