yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
