my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Less talking, more tequila
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
