Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
