we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
