I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
