I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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