What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
