I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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