i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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