can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
