just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
