Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The power of my boobs compel you
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
