So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
