I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
