I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
