haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
