so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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