I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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