Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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