the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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