Cold hands, warm shart.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
