dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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