It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
